Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Frugal Halloween costumes that don't require T&A

Sexy Halloween banana? Really??
It's coming up to Halloween again, which means that if you have a costume/fancy dress party to attend and you're a woman and you're buying a costume, it's going to be difficult to find a non-sexy costume to wear.*  Want to be a lizard? Well, the men's costume is a baggy zip up job that covers the wearer and looks like a lizard.  The women's costume is a micro mini-dress with a plunging neckline and thin spaghetti straps and low back.  I have seen my share of lizards and none of them seemed remotely sexy to me.  Maybe I've never seen ladylizards, though.  Maybe the ladylizards are at the salon getting botoxed and are too busy shopping to ever make an appearance.

Anyway.  If you are not pleased with the selection of Halloween costumes out there, you think they are too expensive, or you just had no plans to go out until the very last minute, never fear! You can actually throw together a costume with minimal cost and no sewing.

Zombie: This is so easy.  What I love about zombies is that they will never be a love interest, you cannot be a sexy zombie (unless you're being ironic) and if you don't feel like talking you can stay in character and just growl and moan.  If you've had a few and can no longer walk properly people will also figure you're staying in character.  Or that you're actually a zombie.  Which would be pretty epic.

To be a zombie, put some white powder on your face, smear some ugly greenish or gray eyeshadow over it (lightly), go a little darker around the eyes, and maybe smear some red lipstick around your mouth.  Wear some old clothes with holes in them.

Witch (the fabled scary one, not the actual Wiccans:.  This is easy, too.  Most witch costumes that are sold are for sexy witches.  But all you really need is a long black dress and the pointy hat.  Maybe a black wig if you want.

Energizer bunny: This was an awesome costume I threw together last minute years ago.  I actually had adult-sized footy pajamas.  I got bunny ears.  I had a small drum.  I was done.  I was also really comfortable and thus in a great mood all night.

Cat or mouse: Matching shirt and pants.  Cat or mouse ears.  If you don't have the ears, get a fabric headband, cut out the shapes of the ears with construction paper, and staple them on.  Draw on whiskers.

Vampire: buy the fangs, wear all black.

Stepford wife: Yes, I wore this.  It is technically a sexy costume but I was so insufferable while I was wearing it that every dude in the party ducked under the nearest table.  I wore a dress, kitchen gloves, and carried a duster.  And I said, "I'll just die if I don't get this recipe" over and over and over again.

Pirate: A ruffled blouse, jeans and boots, and a bandana tied around your head should do the trick.

* I am not against sexy costumes per se--I've been Catwoman before, though she's kind of supposed to be sexy (as well as scary)--but I'm against the trend that makes it a thing for women while men don't seem to have this pressure.  A man's lizard costume doesn't feature spandex shorts in a lizard print with boots and no shirt for men.  It's a zip-up-cover-him-all-up-looks-like-a-lizard-job.  The woman's? Not so much.  If a man's doctor, lizard, and devil costume isn't going to showcase all of his skin, then the woman's shouldn't have to, either. And if women have the "option" of being sexy, we should have the option to not be.  And men should get this same "option" to be sexy as well.


  1. I like your costume ideas, however Halloween is not such a big thing over here in the Uk like it is on your side of the water.

    I have just tagged you in a getting to know you sort of game. Go to http://talesofspringcottage.blogspot.co.uk/2012/10/Tagged.
    Hope you enjoy

  2. lol, you're funny.

    I am dressing up my little kids but I am not personally dressing up. I will eat about 1/2 of their candy, though.

    3 year old is going to be a pirate princess
    1 year old is going to be a lamb

    I love Halloween!

    1. Candy is the best part of Halloween. I love your kids' costume ideas!

  3. I love your sense of humor. :)

    I found a cute idea for my daughter on 1halloween.net. She will be macaroni and cheese. I have spray painted toilet paper rolls yellow, hot-glued them onto an old yellow sweatshirt, printed off a Kraft M&C logo, attached it to her zipper, and voila, I'm done. I'm in the process of making my son's jedi knight costume--mostly brown material tied w/a rope belt.

    I also find the sexy female costume thing disturbing, since that's about the only option out there. At previous workplaces we used to dress up for Halloween and had a riot--we would typically make group costumes--Addams Family, Alice in Wonderland. During the Clinton administration 2 people were Bill & Hilary and I ... ahem ... was Monica Lewinsky in a blue dress and a beret. Probably tacky, but we got a lot of laughs.

    1. Thanks for the tip on www.1halloween.net. I loved it. And no degrading costumes that make a woman look cheap.
      thank you pamela. Planning ahead as I have to make a costume for a child in a wheelchair. 1halloween.net had them too.
      Thanks Pamela

  4. You are so right. To look at the costume shops, you'd think that the ONLY reason a woman might ever possibly wear a costume would be for role-playing in a bedroom situation.

    1. Exactly. I mean, I don't mind sexy stuff, but there's a time and a place for this. (Also, me on a sugar high + SO NOT SEXY. Just very obnoxious.)

  5. I am late to this Halloween party, but I applaud you taking on the sexy halloween costumes for women. I made a long black dress from slip material. I had it. Then, I made a long cape of black lace. The guy with me had a Dracula cape I mae plus the full costume. I had two fang marks in the side of my neck, right near the jugular. Yes, I went as a victim, not good form, but fun.

    We bought him a tuxedo shirt for $1, black pants for $1, free black shoes, and I made the cape and cummerbund. He looked really authentic. I made studs for the shirt from plastic spider rings. Then, we bought paint for his face and fangs. I think we had $4 in his costume. I already had the material for mine. No pattern was used for mine, since I just cut a long loose dress and cape, easy peasy.

  6. Of these quick fix ideas, I'd have to agree that going as a zombie would be the easiest and one of the more popular options considering the rise in popularity of The Walking Dead series.

  7. Thanks for your great information, the contents are quiet interesting.I will be waiting for your next post.
    Sexy fancy dress costumes

  8. I was browsing about Halloween costume ideas and I found your blog which is quite interesting. I do hope it's okay with you if I pin them on my Pinterest board. Thanks for sharing!