Do not crack an egg into a cup and cook it on high in the microwave for several minutes. Just don't.
Do not stir canned baked beans constantly and then be surprised that they have the consistency of mashed potatoes.
Really, do not eat canned baked beans if you ever hope to like beans.
Do not poke holes in hot dogs you are boiling more than once or twice. Doing this over enthusiastically will result in split hot dogs.
It is probably a very good idea to not try to iron sheets. You will only wrinkle them up again, if you tend to slack like me, you'll feel vaguely foolish midway through the task. And by "midway" I mean about five minutes into it.
Some people are really organized and do everything perfectly. Most people aren't. I'm fine with being in the latter group.
A tablecloth is very pretty until you spill something on it. I spill things a lot.
I cannot conceive of cleaning my house in high heels, even ironically.
No matter how many cookbooks you have, the chances of making a fantastic four-course meal when you get home if a) you commute b) you're tired or c) you're only cooking for yourself are pretty slim.
No matter how much of a foodie I can be sometimes, I will always have an unreasonable love for boxed mac n' cheese dinner. With the powdered cheese.
The best way to clean your house in a hurry is to invite people over. That's motiviation.
The best way to eat well is to invite people over for dinner. Unless you hang out with folks who love themselves some boxed mac and cheese.
The best way to be social and stress free is to hang out with people who love themselves some boxed mac and cheese.